Introduction
There is a room full of Black women. No one else but Black women sitting next to each other enjoying each other’s company. The six comfy chairs are surrounding the circular wooden coffee table while the television is broadcasting “The Real”. The TV is set to a volume that the ears can hear but the words are mumbled slightly. “He’s cute. But he might not be into Black girls” speaks one of the girls around the table. Immediate sighs and stares glare at the girl who spoke as this glare is a popular gesture of understanding and agreeing.
The Multicultural Suite is what this room is called. Many students come to talk to others, have meetings, eat, watch television and much more. Many people pass through the suite every day and great conversations start from interesting questions people have during the day. A popular daily thing that happens in the suite is “question of the day” on the whiteboard that sparks discussion among many students that walk in and out of the suite. Down to social issues and current news in the media is questioned for all people to join in the discussion. Many students write their responses on the board for others to see. This article isn’t about a Multicultural Suite but instead an article about discussions taken place in the suite by Black women, specifically talking about their experiences on Quinnipiac’s predominately white University.
Throughout my years on Quinnipiac’s campus, I engaged myself with leadership positions, co-founded an organization, and worked my hardest where I earned Honors in my major of Sociology. My social life on this campus has flourished and it wasn’t until a Multicultural Suite was made at the end of my sophomore year that I met more students of different backgrounds, majors and ways of thinking. At times, many of my friends and I come together to talk about stressors and issues we go through and surprisingly they are similar to each other. This is why I am writing about the Black women experience on my campus. I stress to you, the reader, that not all Black women feel the way I or any other Black women feel on my campus. This is from my point of view and others who I interview with their take on their own experiences on this campus. Women on campus have a lot to say about their experiences but not a lot of people hear their stories out. I want to provide more insight into their experience at this University in particular.
To Date or Not to Date
College is where students start to explore more that is out there in the world. College is where the wild, fun, outrageous, crazy parties, and “hookups” are socially accepted by other peers you are around, though mom and dad may not want to hear about these experiences. It is also a place where young adults meet new people, form relationships and start to date. Referring back to my quote at the beginning of this article “he’s cute. But he might not be into Black girls” is a common phrase among some of the women I talk to personally. If you ever watch the show Grown-ish on ABC some of the young Black women express this concern as well. What is it that makes some of us Black women feel this way? This is one of the issues Black women may face on their predominantly white college. The feeling of being unwanted by their own, Black men. What might it be that makes us feel unwanted? I have had many conversations with Black men on Quinnipiac’s campus about why they do not “seem” to care for Black women on campus.
There was a Black Student Union, BSU, coffee house meeting and the topic was centered around Black Love. Sighs were expelled from a lot of mouths about the topic that was to be discussed that night. These sighs exuded the feeling of “here we go again”. It was also surprising to see many Black people at once at a meeting. The flyer did say “free soul food” and that may have been the motive which is another topic I will focus on later in this article.
There have been many discussions with Black men about why they don’t really seem to “bother” with Black women on this campus. Some men have said “Y’all are looking to be wifed up and we not bout’ that” or “Y’all don’t talk to us” or “Y’all have too much drama”. On the more promiscuous side of things, one Black man said “Y’all don’t give ‘it’ up too easily, so we find other girls to mess with”, placing his words in better terms. Can these explanations be deemed as excuses or truth? Maybe it may be a bit of both.
Anger
There was a piece of writing I found on the internet called Anger Matters: Black Female Student Alienation at Predominantly White Institutions. There was one particular subpart in this piece of writing called “Black Masculinity through Contrast with Angry Black Females” that really stood out to me. This section talks about how the Black man will distance himself of the stereotype of anger from social inequality at some PWI’s, unlike Black females. While Black females may have this stereotype of anger, Black men will contrast this by being laid back and have a very apolitical stance on issues. Interrupting this interesting find, I have surprisingly noticed this on my campus. Many Black men at Quinnipiac University are laid back and most have no political stance on some issues. If some men did have a stance on certain issues they are sometimes quiet about it. For example, two years ago there was a Black Lives Matter protest on our campus in front of our Arnold Bernhard Library. About forty Black students showed out to the event and out of the forty students about 10 were Black men. For some Black men on campus, they state that they cannot be in the light of politics due to sports. I can see how this can minute their freedom of speech but I don’t think it is fair, in my opinion. Many people no matter the race on Quinnipiac’s campus say that Black men are very laid back through conversations with others and also from my eyes as well. To feel masculine, as the article states, these men are easygoing, apolitical and laid back compared to Black women who are seen as “angry, political and have an attitude.” Black men “cannot” simply be seen as this stereotype. For the athletes, their masculinity is being shown through the sport they love. As I read further in this article the author states that “Black men abdicate to Black women the emotional stewardship of their community, including political issues by dismissing both Black women, and, often, Black organizations, as immoderate spaces, Black men abandon their collective responsibility to fight racial inequality, focusing on the individual strategies of mobility and leaving the work of fighting racism up to women (Wilkins, 2012, p. 57)”. Most Black women that I talk to on Quinnipiac’s campus have stated this over and over again. Often, it is said by the women that we feel alone and fighting a cause is mainly the Black women’s’ “role”. At times we are tired of being the sole representation of a fight that the Black man should be at too. But, of course, we have White allies too to join in the fight.
The last point from this article that is surprising is that there was a survey where students of different backgrounds, White and Black were asked to think about some police shootings of African-Americans that were unarmed and if they felt strongly to strongly disagreed about being angry, vulnerable, depressed and distrustful of police. From this survey, I was surprised that Black males were just as angry with police shootings as White females at 35%. Black females were almost twice as much angrier than Black males at 66%. Because the amount of anger is the same for Black men and White females this may have a connection to the reason many Black men are as laid back in the eyes of White females and White males. Can the higher percentage of anger from Black women also connect to the reason many Black men state that they don’t want to bother with Black women on this campus? Are Black women taking away from the Black men’s comfortability in their laid-back attitudes to talk and date a Black woman in a predominately white institution? I found this read exceptionally great to point out while researching others experiences on their campuses because of the data that was shown.
Dismissing the Organization
Food will always be good for the soul. This is why campus organizations try to have food at some of their meetings to draw people in and get more attendance. This method works. Many Black students or students of color on this campus have noticed that when there are club meetings and events a lot of people do not show up. This can be said for other non-multicultural clubs as well but as a campus that has a small group of minorities on its campus, you’d think many students would want to participate in the multicultural organization meetings and events. The spike in attendance shows when there is food presented in the flyer. Is it that students are very busy and have other important obligations or is it because there is no food present and students decide not to show up? If there are students that show up to meetings it is mostly females that show up to them. Why not males?
Referring back to the researcher’s insights on Black men dismissing organizations this may be a reason. In the author’s previous quote about Black men dismissing Black organizations, I found this to be quite true on Quinnipiac’s campus as well. Why is it that not a lot of Black men show out to organizations catered to people of color, lots of women would question. Here the author has somewhat answered the question as it is seen as somewhat excessive for the men to go to these spaces where organizations talk about issues and topics in the Black community. Many Black women have expressed that Black men should be joining these meetings more often. It is seen across the attendance sheets in many multicultural general board meetings on campus that the majority of attendees are Black women or women of color. When you see the same people every meeting it makes you wonder where others are and how important their input is to the meetings too.
Intersectionality
I interviewed one Black man on Quinnipiac’s campus by the name of Ja’Sean Henry-Johnson. One of the questions I asked him was “Do you think women of color have different experiences than Black men on campus?” Ja’Sean proceeds to say “Definitely. Black women aren’t really held in higher regard to Black men especially and people in general. So, I am sure their experiences are much tougher than something that I would face; and especially because the standards of beauty that society holds. As a man myself, I am not really held to those standards. Although I am attractive, I am not really expected to look a certain way every day. So, I can’t equate my situation to a Black women’s.” As I have many friends of color on my campus a lot of women point out that they aren’t as held to higher regard as Black men. Black men in the eyes of young women are more socially fluid with their White counterparts and some are the “token Black friend” for some of their White friends. Back in my sophomore year of college, I overheard a group of White men talking about Black women and how they aren’t that good looking, etc. Women of color do wonder where this leaves them at Quinnipiac University for the pool of dating and opening up to men on this campus. Like any other woman in college, no matter the race dating and meeting potential partners is a big part of becoming an adult. Most Black women have started going to other Universities where they felt more accepted by men, especially men of color.
My friend and I work at an office at Quinnipiac University by the name of Department of Cultural and Global Engagement, DCGE, where we get asked to file folders, create posters and much more office duty work. As we were sitting there in the office I asked my friend, Yadley Turnier, if she experienced anything on this campus being a woman of color herself. What she brought up to me was interesting to listen to. Yadley is a health science major and she explained that one of her lab classes was made up of majority male students. As this class was male-dominated she felt as though the men in the class dominated over the lab group work and rarely let her do any part of the work. Though she tried it wasn’t an equal amount of shared learning experience on her part so she ended up dropping the class. When it came to taking tests in the class she wouldn’t know much of the procedure due to being somewhat ignored by the men in the class. There has always been the notion about women of color on Quinnipiac’s campus. There are two things against us. That is being a Black woman or woman of color and being a woman. Referring back to Ja’Sean’s statement about Black women not being held to higher regard and having it tougher than men Yadley’s experience fits this mold.
No Regrets
At times when I was a freshman and sophomore at Quinnipiac, I often used to say “I wish I went to another University”. People would often say why didn’t you go to an HBCU, historically Black college or university, and I would argue that I should have. With my leadership skills I gained through my positions and creating an organization that made other Black women on campus unite together, NaturallyMe, I don’t regret choosing my school of choice. Though there are microaggressions and at times feeling as though I don’t belong in some instances on my campus or in class I came this far in my career and Quinnipiac has opened many doors for me as a young Black woman. I learned to intergrade myself in a school that is predominately White which is a hard task for many students of color to get through. These stories are not to minimize Black men or anyone’s experiences but it is learning lesson and insight into how some Black women feel on a predominantly White institution. These Black women in the cozy chairs surrounding the wooden circular table in the Multicultural Suite will come together again and talk among each other; hoping years later more Black men will sit around and join in the discussion a bit more.
NATURALLY BRI 